Did you choose to be offended?

I met with a friend last night that was having negative feelings with her husband. Then this morning I turn on the TV and they are talking about how people can only offend you if you choose to be offended. It was an interesting string of events as that is basically what I was telling my friend last night. So, I guess that means I should be sharing it with you in a blog this morning.

Most people have something going on in their lives and heads that we aren't privy to. Unfortunately, we might just happen to be in their path at the time that the pent-up feelings coming spilling forth. The easiest targets are those that are the closest to us and love us the most. When this happens, take a step back, take a deep breath, and take a look around. Was it really something you did that you have control over and can now apologize for, make amends for, or make a future change? Was it something that was done to them that they didn't deal with at the time and is now misdirected at you? Let them know you get that something is up with them and you want to communicate with them. Let them be heard without judgement. Stay calm and off of the defensive. If it isn't something that can be resolved right now, a nice smile, "I love you", "I would like us to get through this together." and then sometimes a quiet walking away from each other momentarily might be what is needed. And then you need to reflect on the positive things in life, in your relationship (when it was going well), and push the negative thoughts away.

When you clear your head with positive thoughts, it is amazing at how many times a solution to an issue can become clear. If your head is filled with the negative, you tend to spiral further down. Sometimes coming up with positive thoughts can be difficult, yet rarely impossible. It's your choice.